Is Frankie Lane singing about the UNESCO Geopark or about me? For here I am, once again, roaming my fave landscape on this fair island. I love all the limestone, glaciated into slabs during the last Ice Age. I love the erratics everywhere. I love the unceasing wind of it all. And I love that I can spend a day jumping from one pavement to another, from upland to coast, and never see another human. I've tattooed one of its wildflowers on my left wrist. I relax in its beaufort-embouchure hum. And this week I found some fossils!, which I am proud to say I did not chisel off to save for B. (But TBH only because the rock was, it turns out, less breakable than I was.)
22 February 2025
15 February 2025
Irish Time
Okay, so I suggested last week that maybe I was not cut out for this whole retreat thing, that I didn’t really need to run away from distraction in order to be productive. But I must admit that I’ve managed to get some real writing done while I’ve been isolating out in this little cottage by the sea—most urgently, a big lecture on Donne that I’m scheduled to deliver in early March and an accompanying powerpoint that makes reference to Doechii, Taylor Swift, and Kendrick Lamar. Never let it be said that my lectures don’t keep the kids in mind!
I’m also relishing this opportunity to settle again into slow life in rural Ireland, returning to the rhythms of my time here when I was younger. I love stopping for a chat along the road with some auld farmer whose Kerry accent is harder to parse than his Gaelic, and having that chat turn into half a morning of substantive dialogue about poetry. I love being out on my nightly run in the rain and having someone holler at me from her doorstep to stop in for just a wee cup of tea to warm me—and leaving 2 hours later bearing an unexpected bounty: a reflective vest, 2 CDs of my host’s sean-nรณs singing, and a new friend. I love having Radio na Gaelige playing all day long when I’m at home in the cottage, trying to recover the Irish I used to speak functionally. (For the record, I am failing at fluency, though I can pick out 100 words or so, and counting.) I love the slow attentiveness of building a peat fire, and then, once it finally heats to red, the long enjoyment of it into the small hours. And I love finding new trails every day alongside a different cliff...
among a new color-scheme of sheep...
to another collapsed abbey...
or up a previously unexplored spongy sliabh to its gorse-covered blackrock top.
When I lived here in the 90s, I used to refer to the pace of life here as Irish Time. You make plans to meet up at the pub at 8? Don’t for a minute imagine that your friend will show before 830, at the earliest. You want to go to the chemist when it opens at 11? Better aim for 1230 to be on the safe side. The shop with posted open hours of 12-5 Thursday through Sunday isn’t. The bus that is supposed to come every hour might or it mightn’t. For someone who was, even as a younger person (perhaps especially as a younger person) a driven, clock-slaving American, the adjustment came with some little irritation. But as I got used to it, I found myself generally happier. I became, finally, able to stroll along a beach at low tide without thinking that there was something important I was meant to be doing; the beach-stroll was the important thing. Again, I’m feeling gratitude for this strange travel year, for the gift of its unhurried unfolding. I’m hoping I’ll be better in my maturity than I was as a hungry and ambitious youth at keeping my soul’s clock set on Irish Time when I move on to the next adventure.
08 February 2025
Work
I’m spending the next couple of weeks at an artists’ residency in the West of Ireland. My little cottage sits right on the coast, at the top of a black cliff with the blue Atlantic churning far below. It’s postcard-scenic here, and quiet—the place has, as a matter of principle, no wifi or television, the idea being that the artists who come to spend some time will flourish into productivity without the workaday distractions of the modern world.
Which brings me to my work habits. I think I have them—that is, I think I generally get shit done, cheerfully and in a timely fashion. I’ve heard friends talk about their gloriously productive stints at one writing retreat or another, and I always think to myself (secretly, inwardly), Surely you can get the work done at home just as easily? I’ve managed to be a fairly productive writer across genres while managing a house, raising kids, and caring for family. In fact, I actually think I am more productive for those “distractions,” because instead of feeling like I’m clocking in when I sit at the computer it feels like a breather from the other stuff and a welcome chance to sit with my brain for a few minutes. I realize that I’m pretty privileged in this regard; especially now, with no one at home full-time but myself, pretty much all my days as a widowed empty nester look like a writing retreat.
So I find myself here in this unwired refuge which is a kind of island on the western edge of another island on the other side of the world from my own bed, and I have to say that I’m finding it fairly difficult to work. My plan is to finish revising my most recent manuscript while I’m in residence here, but that task is proving strangely uncompelling when it’s the only thing in my day.
(Not surprisingly, I'm just going outside a lot, being apparently constitutionally incapable of just sitting at a desk and getting work done.)
I think I just don’t work this way: don’t need silence and isolation to make progress on writing; and besides, silence and isolation is kinda my default condition these days. So it seems a little gratuitous, and I confess maybe even a little pointless, to treat this stretch of days as set aside for formal writing labor. I need to be outside—walking, running, hiking, generally being stimulated by the world—in order to think better, and while I can certainly find all kinds of places to walk/hike hereabouts, I’m finally not sure that I’m the target demographic for the writers’ retreat.
*****
On a slightly different topic: when I was here in the early 90s, it’s fair
to say that much of Ireland was…slow to modernize. I stayed in some houses that were definitely
closer to the third world than the first, with outdoor plumbing and the
fireplace as the only heating source. (One of those houses is about 25 miles
from where I currently sit, as the crow flies.) Most of Ireland has been so radically
transformed by its charging Celtic Tiger Eurozone economy that I hardly
recognize it, but the area where this artists’ colony sits represents a bit of
a throwback to those earlier times. I
may not be grinding out pages while I’m in residence, but as I type these
words, I am laboring—to keep the fire piled with peat because the cottage
doesn’t have any other heat and the nights get cold. To get the dishes washed quickly in the water
from the teakettle, because while there is indoor plumbing I wouldn’t say that
it’s reliable or that hot water is a given.
To plan my shopping with maximal efficiency and minimal weight, because
the nearest town is some miles away. And
while I can take advantage of nationwide 5G on my phone (instead of walking 2
miles to a phone booth every few days to call my parents, as I did in the early
90s), my laptop won’t be cruising the internet superhighway anytime soon. I’m not especially precious about my
accommodations (I’ve pooped in more than my share of holes, desert depressions,
and open fields); and again, I appreciate the concept of flourishing without
distraction. I guess I’m just wishing
that I were the kind of artist who really would get all the benefit of such a
situation, rather than feeling like I’m substituting one kind of work for
another.
It is stupid beautiful here, though, and if I don’t write a single word at least I have views like this to console me.
01 February 2025
Traveling alone
* Yes, sure, do ask me about my absolute obsession with Knoops hot chocolateria. Why do we not have them in the USA?